WWE SmackDown Live (Mar. 12, 2019) – Abridged

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guess who’s back, back again, BEAR is back, tell a friend

discount Marvel movie intro, then/now/whatever

here’s the best rich dad in the world

SHANE: hey ring dude, say what I told you

RING DUDE: shane’s best in the world

SHANE: once more with feeling

RING DUDE: shaaaaaane’s beeeeeeeest in the wooooooooorld

SHANE: WITH FEELING YOU CRETIN

RING DUDE: SHAAAAAAANE’S BEEEEEEEEEST IN THE WOOOOOOOOORLD

SHANE: welp I’m a heel now

UNIVERSE: we see that

SHANE: I beat up Miz cause non-best-in-the-world folks suck, imma beat up Miz more at Mania

UNIVERSE: oh

BLACKOCHET and HARDYZ fight BAR and NAKARUSEV

BEAR: why

VINCE: cause smackdown playaplayaplaya

unabridgable chaos ensues, suddenly NEW DAY

NEW DAY: we’re mad, y’all gon die

they in fact do

REF: k match’s over

USO: hi New Day uce

USO: and all the other teams uce

USO: we’re brothers uce

USOS: welcome to prison uce

here’s RANDY for some reason

RANDY: AJ did indie things, I didn’t, AJ sucks

here’s a dude with farmer strength

AJ: indie things are great, RKO’s a ripoff

RANDY: you do the too sweet tho

AJ: you got your job cause daddy

RANDY: this is my house

AJ: nah, fight me at Mania

RANDY: maaaaaaaybe

ASUKA’s fights SONYA cause she beat MANDY at Fastlane

SONYA: graps

ASUKA: also graps

SONYA; now kicks

ASUKA: also kicks

SONYA: rollup, pin

ASUKA: nah, dropkick

SONYA: dodge

PICCOLO: hey look at that Gohan

GOHAN: yeah yeah

ASUKA: totally fine, have offense

SONYA: hey Mandy help me slip

MANDY: um sure

SONYA: slip

ASUKA: asuka lock

SONYA: tap

MANDY: yikes

IICONICS: Boss&Hug should fight us tho

here’s the man

THE MAN: bye crutch, imma limp now

CRUTCH: aww

THE MAN: so I got injured and suspended and unsuspended and then suspended and then arrested again but now we’re good

UNIVERSE: thanks for the catchup

THE MAN: won the Rumble, Ronnie’s shook, imma win at Mania

here’s RIC’s daughter

CHARLOTTE: I’m better than you cause I’m awesome, you don’t deserve a champ shot, Universe pities you, you suck in general

THE MAN: we’re main eventing Mania cause of me

CHARLOTTE: welp

KAYLA: hey Bryan, you were talking with Vince, how bout that

BRYAN: yep, told him Kofi sucks, imma fight KO and Ali with Rowan later

here’s the third TRUTH/REY/ANDY/JOE fight in seven days but now they’re tagging

ANDY: punchy things

TRUTH: jumpy things

REY: tag

JOE: why hello

REY: I immediately regret this decision

JOE kills REY

JOE: hey Andy want a turn

ANDY: sure

REY: wanna tag

VEGA: no don’t

CARMELLA: stop that

TRUTH: tag, imma supercena

ANDY: tag

JOE: why hello

TRUTH: no thank you, tag

REY: fine, 61-

ANDY: please don’t

REY: double 619

ANDY, JOE: ow

REY: pin to Joe

JOE: k but Truth and Andy die

they in fact do

KO and ALI fight BRYAN and ROWAN

KO: angrybeef

ROWAN: beefier angrybeef

KO: I’d like to not

ALI: fine, tag

ROWAN: don’t care, more beef

BRYAN: tag, now some kickygraps

ALI: welp

rest holds ensue

BRYAN: what about throws

ALI: nah, pin

ROWAN: methinks not

KO, ALI: HAVE ALL THE OFFENSE

KO and ALI slightly inconvenience ROWAN

BRYAN: tag

ROWAN: slam, pin

ALI: k

NO CHANCE, THAT’S WHAT YA GOT

VINCE: totally gonna let Kofi fight at Mania, member how I didn’t do that like two days ago

suddenly NEW DAY

E: so yeah that royally sucked

WOODS: yep, Kofi deserves to fight at Mania

VINCE: well who deserves anything really

NEW DAY: um Kofi does

UNIVERSE: YEP

VINCE: but Kofi’s not championship material

BOOKER T: say what sucka

VINCE: plus Bryan said he’s a B+ player

KOFI: nah, I’ve worked really freaking hard and missed fam stuff, so whaddaya want

suddenly RANDY

VINCE: well if you beat him

suddenly JOE

VINCE: and him

suddenly BAR

VINCE: and them

suddenly ROWAN

VINCE: and him in a gauntlet match next week you go to Mania

RANDY, JOE, BAR, ROWAN: attaaaaaaaaaack

NEW DAY kills everyone

RANDY, JOE, BAR, ROWAN: run awaaaaaaaaaaay




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