SmackDown Live – Abridged

Share the joy



In which BEAR missed the first hour and is very sorry.

BEAR: dinner ran late, missed the first hour, sorry folks, time to abridge things

TOM: Charlotte won the belt

BEAR: of course she did

AWWWWWWW SAAAAAAAAAM

MIZ: Shane hit me then my dad, I’m mad so falls count anywhere at Mania

suddenly SECURITY and JOBBERS and a heel dad with money

SHANE: hey ring dude, say what I told you

RING DUDE: SHAAAAANE’S BEEEEEEST IN THE WOOOOOOORLD

SHANE: really loved hittin you and your dad, falls count anywhere’s cool, imma beat you at Mania, wish I beat up your dad more cause you suck

MIZ: k die

SECURITY: hey maybe don’t

MIZ: wet tissue paper says what

SECURITY: welp

MIZ: anyone else

JOBBERS: um us I guess

SaNiTy: ESPECIALLY US

MIZ: ow but also beatemups and jumparounds in the crowd

SaNiTy: ow

MIZ: now where was I

SHANE: bye

MIZ: aww

suddenly flashback

NEW DAY: hey Vince, whatup with screwing Kofi

VINCE: y’all win a tag gauntlet and Kofi goes to Mania

suddenly flashforward

IICONICS: gonna win the tag belts at Mania

E, WOODS: k so who’s gauntleting first

suddenly BULLETCLUB

WOODS: let’s freakin go

KARL: but offense

WOODS: hey aren’t ya leavin soon

LUKE: sigh yes

WOODS: pin

LUKE: k

suddenly NAKARUSEV

NAK: strong style, tag

WOODS: lemme guess, beef

RUSEV: for days

WOODS: welp

a large amount of beef ensues til

E: tag, beef

RUSEV: tag

E: neat have stairs

RUSEV: machka kick

NAK: tag, pin

WOODS: nah

BEAR: IT’S SO FREAKING FAST

WOODS: imma-

RANDY: as I said, don’t care

WOODS: dive

E: tag, beatemups

WOODS: tag, upupdowndown, pin

NAK: k

suddenly BAR

BAR: E gets rest holds

E: this bothers me cause reasons

CESARO: swiiiiiiiiing, sharpshooter

E: nah

SHEAMUS: cool imma stomp your knee

E: ow but imma rally

WOODS: tag, imma zoom

BAR: we are very zoomed

WOODS: pin to Cesaro

SHEAMUS: maybe don’t

E: tag

CESARO: moar rest holds plz

E: but I am very big

WOODS: tag

CESARO: also tag, pin

WOODS: nah

CESARO: imma jump then

E: nah you won’t

WOODS: rollypin

SHEAMUS: k but beatemups after

WOODS: really

E: why tho

BAR: we’re heels, E gets a table

suddenly USOS

USO: we fought the New Day a bunch uce

USO: Kofi should fight at Mania uce

USOS: we forfeit uce

NEW DAY: YAY

BRYAN: NAH

ROWAN: VERILY NAY

RING DUDE: one more team tho

suddenly PLANETCHAMPS

BRYAN: E’s leg gets a post

ROWAN: and Woods’ face getteth mine fist

E: imma rally tho

BRYAN: but muh rest hold

WOODS: but imma jump

ROWAN: mayhap do not

WOODS: get outta the ring

E: BEEEEEEEEEEEF, pin

ROWAN: verily nay, tag, pin

E: nah

ROWAN: I espy a table

WOODS: neat, espy this post

E: imma flip a desk on ya

REF: ten

ROWAN: k

RING DUDE: Kofi’s in Mania

NEW DAY: VERY YAY

INTERVIEWER: hey Vince, Kofi’s goin to Mania, how bout that

VINCE: Kofi’s B+ tho

meanwhile all the SDL faces come to the ring

SDL FACES: nah




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