Guess who is back in the WWE Performance Center and trying to get better at his craft after all these years? Goldberg! Just kidding, why on Earth would he care when he’s already pulling in ten times the amount of money 90 percent of the roster is.
The best feud in WWE right now is Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch. Bar none. But the best feud in WWE’s less-heralded Men’s Division™ is *checks notes written by trusty imaginary canine assistant who only speaks Pig Latin* Matt Riddle vs. Goldberg.
It’s the gift that keeps on giving, and it highlights just how hilarious Riddle is. I mean, he’s breaking all stereotypes as a former MMA star who is actually chill and funny in pro wrestling. Make no mistake, he’s scary as hell in the ring and would probably beat an old man like Goldberg in a fight, which is probably why he keeps talking smack.
The latest layer in the saga features a note left by Goldberd – I mean, uh, Goldberg – for a Mr. Mathew Riddle at the WWE Performance Center.
Seems legitimate, right?
I don’t know which image is funnier. Goldberg sneaking into the Performance Center to deliver a message that a small child could have delivered, or Goldberg actually signing up for a PC membership to get better at wrestling.
In all seriousness, Goldberg did wrestle an entertaining squash match against Dolph Ziggler, whose confidence in defeat is what I aspire to have when walking up to a McDonald’s and asking for TWO Big Macs. Because, you know, typing 300 words of jokes burns more calories than Michael Phelps shattering individual medley records.
Goldberg is who he is at this stage, and that’s a money-making machine who will Jackhammer anyone into the canvas.
But Riddle? This is the dude who is going to retire Brock Lesnar, and it’s not just because he’s the slickest of athletes inside the ring. The man is a comedic genius hovering somewhere below the R-Truth tier, which is to say he is a national treasure.
Also, will somebody at the PC please return Goldberg’s sweaty gym clothes in that trash bag? I have a feeling he’s going to need them.