This is a mostly uncommon, but fact about jiu-jitsu (and life, really). Sometimes, we being to have various issues at the place we train. Maybe your head coach’s attitude has changed somehow. Maybe a fellow student begins to cause problems at the gym. Maybe the curriculum is in line with the goals you have for your future in jiu-jitsu. Whatever the case may be, there may come a time where you are thinking of leaving your current gym. How do I do this? Are people going to be mad? What about my friends? Where will I go? This can be very worrisome to people. Below are some suggestions on how to rectify things, and make a move if the situation requires it.
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First, I would think on the issue, and see if there is anything I can do to make it better myself. Sometimes, we can easily overlook that we may be the problem. Maybe we can change our mindset. Or maybe that is avoiding training with a certain person. Maybe it is just focusing on your training more, and not being involved in any drama that is happening at the gym. Before we get others involved, let’s try to fix ourselves. This may fix the issues, and we can go back to joyous times at the gym.
In this process, I would no advise to talk to others outside of the situation. It is in our nature to do this, but it can lead to distorted opinions, and possible misinterpretation of your thoughts and feelings. Other people do not know how you feel, and people do not know all the details of the situation. Only you can pass judgement on your situation, so keep it that way.
Second, I would try to rectify any issues with the person/people/situations that are causing the problems. Talk to people directly involved in the issues. Talk to your instructor. Discuss your problems. Most of the time, people are unaware of any hurtful or mean things they are doing. Most people I have ran across in jiu-jitsu are easy going, and of good nature. This maybe all it takes to get things to go back to good. This is usually an easy fix, but can be tough when people are stuck in their ways. It is worth a shot, and can be a pretty painless process.
Lastly, if all else fails, maybe it is time to leave. Do what you can to fix things, but sometimes things cannot be fixed. Go quietly, save face with the people you still enjoy at the gym, do not burn bridges, and make your move. This can be hard, but can be what is needed to continue your journey.
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Also, I ask you to acknowledge that, while a gym is integral part of jiu-jitsu, you do not have to remain at any certain place. Especially if the environment is warping you mind into believing that you do not like training jiu-jitsu anymore. Do not let a place/person/people take away the benefits that jiu-jitsu (not a gym) has to offer you. You are able to move on, and settle in a new place, and continue on your journey.
Changing gyms is a tough thing, and can lead to questioning lots of things, and stifle our progress in jiu-jitsu. Our gym life is very important, and can be the greatest thing we can get back from training. But, do not be afraid to leave when things begin to deteriorate. Small feelings can grow into large problems that can take you off the mats. Festering issues can begin to overshadow the great things we get back from jiu-jitsu. It is unfortunate, but sometimes we must cut our losses, and move on. Jiu-jitsu is bigger than one person or one gym.
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